Overreacting!

Any over reactors out there? I never react, and I especially never overreact. I always respond in a loving, Christ-like way. Ha! Yeah right! I wish this could be said of me, and I am believing one day it will! So, I am confessing my tendency to overreact. Right about now, my family and Christopher are probably saying, "Yes!" and "Amen!" For most of the time, they are the ones who get to experience my overreacting to its fullest potential. James 5:16 says, "Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available (dynamic in its working)." Oh Jesus, heal me. I need Your power to overcome all of my weaknesses, but I am asking especially in the area of my emotions. I want You to be in control. Forgive me for my extreme moods and for letting things that don't matter upset me. I need You. I trust You to be my Defender when I am offended. My heart longs to draw near to You. Thank You for Your patience with me. I feel like I say that a lot, but I mean it. I am overwhelmed by Your loving-kindness. Empower me by Your Holy Spirit to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to take offense. I know that my overreacting does not promote Your righteousness and glory. Help me to rid my heart of all uncleanness, and in a humble spirit receive and welcome Your Word which implanted and rooted (in my heart) contains the power to save me. Make me a doer of Your Word. I want to continue to partner with You in this process. I feel like I have been that woman in the mirror who looks carefully at her natural face and then goes off and promptly forgets what she looks like. Pour out Your grace that I might persevere in looking to Your Word, being faithful to it, not being a heedless listener, who forgets, but an active doer (who obeys). I want to live a life marked by obedience, compelled by Love. 

"Heal my heart and make it clean.

Open up my eyes to the things unseen.

Show me how to love like You have loved me.

Break my heart for what breaks Yours.

Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause!

As I walk from earth into eternity..."

-Hillsong

Firmly Planted!

Psalm 1:2-3 says, "But his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord, and on His law (the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God) he habitually meditates (ponders and studies) by day and by night. And he shall be like a tree firmly planted (and tended) by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything he does shall prosper (and come to maturity)."

Lord Jesus,

Help me to give You and Your Word first place in my life. Your Word says that when I ask of You, You will give the nations as my inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth as my possession. You are my Shield, my Glory, and the Lifter of my head. When I cry out to You, You hear me. When I lay down and sleep and wake again, You sustain me. In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You, Lord, alone make me dwell in safety and confident trust. When I wake up in the mornings, help me to listen to You. Before my feet hit the floor, I will enter Your presence through the abundance of Your steadfast love and mercy. Thank You that Your mercies are new each and every morning. I will choose to worship You. I will take refuge in You, put my trust in You, and rejoice! Thank You for making a covering over me and for defending me. I love Your name and will sing joyfully . Thank You that I am surrounded by Your pleasure and favor. O Lord, how excellent (majestic and glorious) is Your name in all the earth! I will praise You, God, with all of my heart, and I will tell people about the wonderful things You have done for me. I will rejoice in You and be in high spirits. 

Kelsey Elizabeth Smith!

This is my cousin, Kelsey. She just graduated from high school, and I am so proud of her. She is only five years younger than me, but for some reason I have always seen her as my baby cousin (... probably because she spent a lot of time on my hip or in my lap during her younger years). Ha! Of course, being the oldest, I always had to be the "Mom," the "teacher," the "boss!" You get the idea. I miss those days. Recently, I had the opportunity to be with Kelsey to celebrate her graduation, and something hit me. For the first time, I didn't see her as my baby cousin. I am not saying I liked this, but I realized that she is growing up. She won't need me to carry her around on my hip anymore, but she will need me to help carry the burdens of life. She won't need me to tell her what to do anymore, but she will need me to listen. She will need me to believe with her, pray for her, and encourage every step along the way. She will have many fans, but I will be one of the biggest. Suddenly, I got really excited about her growing up. I know this has been happening for years now, but I am just getting on board with the idea. I have to say that I was pleased with what I saw in my "all-grown-up" cousin...a beautiful, compassionate, strong, smart woman with goals, dreams, and the world ahead of her. For eighteen years, she has lived a life that has glorified our Father in heaven. I can't wait to journey with Kelsey through this next chapter and see all that He has for her. Even though I couldn't convince Kel that she loved Baylor as much as I did, I am truly proud of every choice she has made, every hardship she has endured, every award she has earned, because all of it reveals a life in love with Jesus. She isn't three years old anymore, running around naked, calling out for "Unkie Biff" or "Aint Cindy," red curls bouncing everywhere. Good thing we have home videos to take us back to those days! But she is still our Kelsey! Deep in her heart, she knows right from wrong. She knows the difference between "good" and God's best. She knows that only the truth will set her free. She knows who loves her and whom she belongs to. She knows that she is a daughter of the King. She knows how to make her own decisions, and that ultimately God directs her steps. She desires to please those she loves. She knows how to listen and who to listen to. She knows His ways are higher than her ways and that His plans for her are good and true. She knows what it is to obey. Because she knows, she will make it! She may question (as we all do), but she knows... 

Pressure!

James 1: 4 says, "Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." This would have to be the theme verse for my life in graduate school, but still I feel that I am lacking in so much! God is after something in me, and I think it is perseverance. I am so grateful for His patience and power in the midst of my weakness and failure. Pray for me as the pressure seems to be creeping in slowly but surely. Summer session begins in less than a week! Pray that I would labor (unto weariness), striving with all of His energy which He so mightily enkindles and works within me (Colossians 1:29). Pray that the roots of my being would be deeply planted, fixed, and founded in Him and that I would become increasingly more confirmed and established in faith. Lastly, pray that His love would compel me as I am faithful in the small things and grateful in all things!

It's Really Happening!

Today, I am thankful for my precious roommate and friend, Courtney. It's hard to believe her last day in Waco is tomorrow! I am not sure what life will be like without Court being in the next room, for it is all I have known for the last four years. It will be different, that is for sure. I won't be coming home to the smell of a delicious dinner or an excited Abbey. I won't be able to sit on the couch with Matt and Court while we all give our opinions on each American Idol contestant. I won't be able to hug her on a daily basis or talk about "nothing."  I won't be able to see her beautiful smile or hear her infamous laugh and snort. I won't be able to experience the "retainer" or say, "goodnight." In less than ten days, she will be married. She will have a new name, be moving to a new city, beginning a new job, finding a new church, and making new friends. She isn't going far, but a lot is changing. I know that Court and I will always be friends, because a cord of three strands is not easily broken. I thank God for blessing me with such a loyal, kind-hearted, giving friend. I love Courtney deeply, and she will be missed. Pictures of the beautiful bride-to-be will be coming soon! 

Joy!

Today, I am thankful for my Mamaw. I miss her very much. I delight in every minute I am able to spend with her on the phone and especially in person! I love this picture of my Mamaw, because I feel that it captures so much of what she is about. Things I will cherish in my heart forever about Mamaw are: her incredible hugs, priceless smiles, contagious laughter, her stories about growing up in the country, her honesty, her addiction to shopping but not always buying, her deals she finds at T.J. Max, her hospitality, her love for Branson, her voice on the phone, her diets, our discussions about exercise and allergies, her huge study Bible always on the coffee table, her love for TBN, Joyce Meyer, and the Gaithers, her "tape-player" always playing music (recently upgraded to a CD player), her love for Mickey Gilley and country music, her beautiful flowers, the greenest yard on the block, her house always neat, her bath robe, her jewelry, praise and worship on the patio, our rendition of "What A Mighty God We Serve" with motions, the treadmill that took up the back half of the patio room, various exercise equipment (weights, sweat bands, thigh master, etc.), "Sweatin' To The Oldies With Richard Simmons," her interest in the O.J. Simpson and Jonbenet Ramsey Trial, her ability to cook, reminding us always to "get more" even when we were stuffed, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, chocolate pies, etc., and last but not least... her love for Jesus and others! My Mamaw, Joy White, has brought and continues to bring countless joy to the lives of so many, especially her family! I am blessed to be her grand-daughter. I am beyond blessed by every member of my family with numerous memories that could be recalled, but today Mamaw was on my heart and I couldn't help but smile and write! 

Top Ten For Today!

Today, I am thankful for...

1) "Bear-Trailing" with Meg!

2) My Dad always being available!

3) My Mom's advice!

4) Christopher's ability to make me laugh!

5) My sister being in Waco with me!

    

6) Phone dates with Mamaw!

7) Sunshine!

 

8) Life Group tonight!

9) Memories of my family at Lake Claiborne!

10) Recent visit to Arkansas!

Body of Christ!

Today, I am most thankful for my church. In high school, I remember praying for God to prepare a place for me to plug in while being away at college. I cried out to Him for spiritual Mom's and Dad's, friends with kingdom values, and a place where I could give my life away for His glory. By the way, every prayer was answered. Antioch Community Church has shown me more of what it means to know God intimately and be a loving representation of His heart to a hurting world. Not that I have already obtained this, but I keep pressing on and straining forward to what lies ahead (Philippians 3:13)! I am beyond grateful to be a part of an imperfect but spirit-filled people, whose passion for Jesus enables them to lay down their lives for His purposes in the Earth.

She Said Yes!

ENGAGED!

Last night, Ryan popped the question and my beautiful friend and future roommate said, "Yes!" Ryan and Regan Haggerty - it has a nice ring to it! Doesn't it? I am so happy for my friends, and thankful for the opportunity to live with Regan before she and Ryan tie the knot! Regan has been a dear friend since my freshmen year of college, and I am thrilled to be able to celebrate with she and Ryan as they prepare for their wedding day and marriage. Thank You God for Your faithfulness.

Pray For The Chapman Family!

For more information...

I can't understand why God would allow such a horrible event to happen, but I know He is good. I have been so encouraged as I have read statements from the family about their tragic loss. I can't imagine how trying this must be for them. Today is the memorial service, but they will face many more difficult days. Please pray. 

Relationship = Refinement!

Thank You God that all Scripture is given by Your inspiration, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that I may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work (1 Timothy 3:16-17). Today, I am reminded that every part of Your body is important. "And if one member suffers, all the parts (share) the suffering; if one member is honored, all the members (share in) the enjoyment of it" (1 Corinthians 12:26). Thank You that You designed our relationship with You, others, and Your Word to be refining. Thank You that through refinement, I can better understand Your full character. 

A couple of months ago, Chris and I decided to be more intentional and go through a study entitled "Before Forever." It is so nice to be in the same city! Chris came over before he had to be at work this morning, and we began our first lesson "Blends and Balances." Don't you love it when God reveals a simple truth in a fresh way? I do! So often, I think that my way is the right way. Chris and I have laughed so much over the past two weeks about how many times I have been wrong! From packing and moving to giving directions, it seems the Lord is trying to teach me something. Dr. Byron Weathersbee, who wrote "Before Forever", said that the initial qualities that attracted him to his wife have caused the most frustration in their marriage, however, daily he needs those qualities in his life for balance! Hmm...I think God may have something greater for me than me just getting "my" way. What do you think? At World Mandate 2008, Lexia Campbell was sharing her testimony. God really used her to speak to me and I know many others! There are two things she said that I won't forget: "In Jesus, every death has a resurrection" and "Our lives can be a trickle or a river!" Lord, help me to forget, ignore, disown, and lose sight of myself and my own interests. Help me to take up Your cross and follow You continually. Thank You that as I choose to deny myself, You are resurrecting Your life to be lived out in me. Keep me from reasoning, but always asking for a revelation from You. Your Word says that He who believes in You (who cleaves to and trusts in and relies on You), from his innermost being shall flow (continuously) springs and rivers of living water! Lord, apart from You, my life will only be a trickle. Make my life a river for Your glory! You are able, and I am willing. The refining process is not easy, but You are worth it. 

Just To See You Smile!

Anyone play tennis? Well, I haven't played since I was about eight or nine years old. Recently, Christopher and I decided this is something we could do together. Our first time around gave us so much hope that we went out and bought the equipment needed to begin this new adventure! Much to our surprise, our second time didn't go nearly as well. We definitely got our exercise, but it wasn't by looking like tennis pro's! In fact, out exercise looked more like chasing a ball and trying to get it over the net. At one point, Chris tried to "fix" the net. I told him I thought the problem was more the people on either side of it. We even tried pretending. He was Pete Sampras. I was Anna Kournikova. When that didn't work, we thought maybe we should be Andre and Venus! We laughed. However, it didn't start out that way. When we first arrived, I was so frustrated that we couldn't actually "play" together. If I got the ball over, Chris couldn't return it. If Chris got it over, I was swinging at air. Usually, I can laugh at myself. Chris was smiling the entire time. I was not! I was just thankful we were playing at night, and it wasn't hot. I didn't want to smile. "It was not my smiling time!" (Some of you will understand!) Ha! Well, as much as I wanted to stay frustrated with the game and how it was not going well...I couldn't! It was then that I decided to let go! I asked God to help me have fun and not focus on what I couldn't do. So, it was from that point that I focused on what I could do and what I do have. I thanked God for my arms that haven't quite learned how to swing a tennis racket. I thanked God for my legs that aren't quite fast enough to keep up with the ball when we get it over the net. I thanked God for the man across from me, whom I love and who loves me the way He intended. I thanked God for smiles and that they are contagious. I don't like to be frustrated. I don't enjoy being mad, but sometimes I choose it. I guess we will always do what we don't want to do as Paul wrote so many years ago. However, I long to be thankful at all times. I long to welcome the presence of God and prepare a place for Him wherever I go, in whatever I am doing, even if it is just playing tennis. 

God,

You are so good. Thank You for my health. Thank You for life, and the opportunity to wake up one more day! Thank you for friendship and relationship with You and the precious ones You give us on this earth. Thank You for Chris and his patience with me. So often, he reminds me of You. Thank You for displaying so much of Your goodness through him. Thank You for laughter. Thank You for tennis, a game that puts both of us in our place. Thank You for warning us that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but You offer life to the fullest (John 10:10). Thank You God! Help me to recognize the seemingly insignificant ways that the enemy is trying to steal, kill, and destroy in my life. Enable me by the power of Your Spirit to choose You and the abundant life You desire for Your children. 

Garment of Praise!

Jesus, 

Thank You for Your Word. Thank You that it is cleansing and full of power! Wash me in the water of Your Word. You are able! Help me, Lord, not to become weary in doing good, for at the proper time I will reap a harvest if I do not give up (Galatians 6:9)! I believe in Your power and ability within me. Therefore, all things are possible for me. I desire to be a woman of faith. I reject all fear and anxiety in my life! Keep Your Word on my lips that covers and protects me in every situation. Grant me a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of You. Flood the eyes of my heart with light, so that I can know and understand the hope to which You have called me. Thank You that I am a work in progress and it is all for Your good pleasure, satisfaction, and delight! Help me to get on board with the process as slow as it may seem at times. Remove all doubt from my heart. Thank You that even when I am faithless, You remain faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). You have set my feet on solid ground! You are worthy of all glory and honor!  Thank You for giving me a garment of praise for my heaviness. I delight myself in You alone. You are the greatest. 

Thankful!

So, I am trying something new! Thank you for joining me in this journey of being thankful. God is doing good things, and I feel like they need to be shared. Scripture says that a grateful heart prepares the way for the Lord! Let's prepare the way for Him to come! My goal is to post something everyday. Hopefully, this little journal will accomplish three things: 1) Help me keep my eyes on Jesus and what He is doing, 2) Be a blessing, spurring others on in love and good deeds, 3) Give all glory and praise to Jesus, because He is worth it! If I am a day or two behind, remember I am in graduate school! Ha! But don't hesitate to keep me accountable! Truly, out of the overflow of our hearts our mouths should speak. My prayer is that as my fingers do the typing, you will see my heart...but more importantly God's goodness! 

P.S. Feel free to share what God is doing in your life too! 

For All You've Done!

"You lived. You died. You rose again on high. You opened the way for the world to live again! Hallelujah, for all You've done!" 

"The Light of God surrounds me.

The Love of God enfolds me.

The Power of God protects me.

The Presence of God watches over me.

Wherever I am, God is."

Goals: 

1) To be the fragrance of Jesus that has the power to change the atmosphere around me and the influence that makes Christ real to others.

2) To put more into life than I take out.

3) Whole-hearted obedience.

"Obedience is not arriving at a perpetual state of Godliness, but perpetually following hard after God." 

Jesus, help me to follow hard after You. Apart from you, I can do nothing. Help me to abide. It has been Your kindness that has constantly led me to repentance. Thank You for what You are doing in my life. Thank You for Your provision. Thank You for Your mercies that are new every morning. You are good, and Your love endures forever. Unless You are central, life doesn't work. You bring simplicity into complexity. Thank You for Your Spirit that enables me to understand what You have for me and gives me power to live the life You have set out for me. I am tired of looking to what I think I should have or where I think I should be at this point in my life. I trust You. Thank You that Your power and action do not depend on my efforts. You don' t need me, but You choose me. Thank You. I desire to partner with You and be a lump of clay in the Potter's hands. Mold me and make me. I have many interests, but I long for You to be my only passion! Thank You Jesus that You foreknew me and all my struggles, and yet You also predestined me to be conformed to Your likeness. Thank You that I can confidently claim that if You are for me, who can be against me? What I feel are my present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in me! I will not let my heart be troubled, but I will trust in You.