Pain Free?

No matter what it costs, it's always best to be on the Lord's side...

Sunday morning our Pastor brought an incredible and convicting message on choices. Specifically, he focused on choosing to suffer. We looked at Hebrews 11:24-27 that says, "By faith, Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw Him who is invisible." Our Pastor reminded us that our world is bent on pleasure and buried in problems. Unfortunately, many believers are as well. We think that if it feels good, surely we should do it. And if it hurts, surely we must stop. Most of us feel that we haven't got time for pain. Why is that? Do we think that we are exceptions to what Scripture clearly indicates? 1 Peter 4:12 says, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice to participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed." 2 Timothy 3: 12 says, "In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." Paul goes on to say that all Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. Do we desire to be thoroughly equipped? We must embrace the pain, Christ, and His Word in order to be thoroughly equipped. It's a hard thing to want to suffer. It requires complete surrender and obedience. Remember that no servant is greater than his master. Think of Jesus in the garden. He asked the Lord if there were any other way than the cross. He prayed so hard he sweated drops of blood. Ultimately, He surrendered to what He knew was God's will for His life. When there is no pain, there is no gain. Surrendering has been and continues to be a process for me. I know there will be more that I must lay down to follow Him. I know there will be more times I must choose suffering rather than pleasure. But it will be for His name, His glory, His renown. It will not be in vain. We must trust Him. The more we know Him, the more we understand that it is a privilege to suffer for His sake. The permanent joys of God are far better than the passing pleasures of sin. It's about deferred gratification. Are we willing to give up some things now for what may be God's best later? Psalm 34:19 says, "A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all." As hard as it can be to endure suffering, nothing compares to the cross. "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him" (James 1:12). 

Dreaming!

He knows my heart, and I am dreaming. Will my dreams become a reality? I want to dream His dreams, and I believe I might be. My passion and sole occupation in life is to love Him with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Each and every day, I learn a little bit more about what that looks like. I have many things that I enjoy, but few things that I would spend hours doing. My Dad always asked me, "If you could do anything and not get paid for it, what would you do?" My response has always been that I would sing and take pictures. I don't see anyone ever paying me to sing for them and that is okay. I am not even sure anyone would ever pay me to take pictures for them either. However, I see both dreams as another way to love people, minister to people, and display the glory of God. All I want is to do what I love for Him. I love having the privilege of capturing what God is doing in the lives of different people. This has been a burning desire for some time. I am not sure what He will allow, but I am submitting and surrendering my dreams.

Taming The Tongue!

"Words are the vehicle through which we communicate our thoughts; the tongue is the driver. Moving in spiritual maturity requires that we learn to speak the right words in the right season and for the right reason." -Deborah Smith Pegues

"The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught." Isaiah 50:4 

Poppy!

Well, most of you will never believe this, but I got a dog! Yes, you are reading right...a dog! I am not sure what I was thinking, but I did it. As my Dad tried to sit and warn me of what I was getting myself into, I was signing the papers to adopt "Poppy." Poppy was just one of many puppies that needed to be adopted. However, as I went around to each one, I found that she and I connected. I loved her from the beginning, mainly because she was the only one who didn't bother my allergies. It was a miracle! Another reason I loved her was because she sat quiet while all the others barked incessantly. Of course, if I were in a cage and knew I didn't have a home, I would bark too. She was the perfect size, had the perfect face, and I wanted her to be mine. I couldn't imagine her going back to the pound and being put down. Now, you may be asking how I named her. Well, she came with the name "Poppy." I thought it was sweet. I looked up the meaning and besides it being a wildflower...it also means a wandering female pet. Since she was a stray, I thought it fit her perfectly!

24!

Last Wednesday, November 12, I turned 24 years old! I didn't have time to write about my day, but it was wonderful. I woke up to my roommate, Regan, making breakfast for me. She had all of my favorite things...pigs in a blanket, chocolate chip muffins, eggs, and orange juice! Calories don't count on your birthday, right? She gave me a sweet card, a book about friendship, flowers, a birthday balloon, and a sign she decorated herself! As soon as my feet hit the floor, I was receiving phone calls from the ones I love the most. It was awesome. I felt so loved. I got to work and my supervisor had also gotten me a gift. She bought me the cutest journal that I can't wait to use! I had a great day with some of my favorite patients, and then it was time for lunch. I sat down to eat, and there was a knock at the door. It was Chris! He brought me the most beautiful Gerber daisies. It was so good to see him, and that made my day even better. When I got home from work, Regan had two red velvet cupcakes for me and Chris. Again, calories don't count on your birthday! Right? I quickly got dressed, because Chris had a surprise date for me. He picked me up about six, and he looked so handsome. We got all dressed up, and went to the steakhouse. Again, the calories don't count on your birthday, right? Ha. It was delicious. After that, he surprised me with tickets to see "Stomp" at Bass Performance Hall downtown. It was so entertaining. He did a great job keeping a secret. I received the sweetest cards and gifts in the mail, and I could not have felt more blessed. Thank you to everyone who remembered me on my birthday! Thank You Lord for another birthday and year filled with Your love and kindness. Thank You for my health and another breath. Thank You that Your mercies are new every morning! Thank You for Your many blessings. You are good.

Wash Me!

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving kindness blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly (and repeatedly) from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin. For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgement. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity; my mother was sinful who conceived me (and I too am sinful). Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart. Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied; let the bones which You have broken rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me. Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit. Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You..." -Psalm 51

Lord, 

Deliver me. You are the God of my salvation. Open my lips, and my mouth shall flow forth with Your praise. I will sing aloud of Your righteousness. Thank You Lord that You delight in a broken and contrite heart. Thank You for continuing to break me down with sorrow for my sin. I confess the lack of self-control and discipline You desire. I confess my lust for things that are not of You. I confess my need to justify everything I do instead of allowing You to be my Justifier. I confess saying one thing and doing another. I confess my exaggerating or not telling the whole truth. I confess my need to buy things I don't need in order to feel like I am in control. I confess my attitude and laziness. I confess my bitterness and envy. I confess my insecurities and fear about the future. Forgive me for not trusting You. I know who You are. I am so sorry Lord Jesus. Show me Your ways. Guide me in Your truth and teach me. Thank You for never giving up on me. Your grace is enough!

Life!

Where Do I Begin?

Life in Fort Worth has been fast and furious! So much has been happening. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed to sit down and write about it all. However, I am going to attempt a summary since my last post to present day. Let's see...three of my closest friends have gotten engaged in the last month. Congratulations to Tim and Brittany, Brad and Laura, and Bryan and Chelsey! Chris and I were actually able to be apart of Bryan and Chelsey's engagement night. It was so special for us. I actually introduced Bryan and Chelsey in February of last year. Bryan and I grew up together. We met in Mrs.Dubose's first grade class. He tried to kiss me at the water fountain, and I slapped him. We've been best friends ever since! Bryan and I went to school together from the beginning of elementary until the end of high school. We parted ways for college. I can remember taking pictures with Bryan at my high school graduation and wondering what in the world I was going to do without that boy! Of course, our Mom's were crying and taking pictures. It was bittersweet. Nevertheless, Bryan and I stayed in touch through college. He even came to visit me a couple of times. Every once in awhile we would catch up on the phone. Of course, when we would talk I would always ask if there was anyone special. We always joked about how there was no need for him to date anyone until I found the right one for him. We laughed, and he loved the idea of me picking out his future wife. Hmm...Little did we know what the Lord had in store. Fast forward. I meet Chris. We begin a friendship. Two years later we begin dating, and he introduces me to Chelsey. One night just the three of us went to see the movie "We are Marshall." We had a great time and ended up talking forever in the parking lot after the movie ended. It wasn't long before Chelsey became one of my good friends. The more we talked and the more we got to know one another, the more I liked her. Last December, I was talking to Chelsey about Bryan. I came across some old pictures of us, and I thought....I could see this working. Chelsey wasn't sure at first, but she was open to the idea. I raved about Bryan, but it wasn't hard to do. A month or so later, I called Bryan and told him he better live up to all I claimed that he is. Ha! Poor thing. Well, before I knew it, we had a date on the calendar for them to come to Waco. You see, Chelsey lives in Rockwall, Texas and Bryan lives in Shreveport, Louisiana. So, all of this was kind of a big deal. I was a little nervous. I had never done this before. The weekend went great, and they have been friends and more than that ever since! Naturally, Bryan wanted Chris and me to be apart of the night he proposed. We were thrilled to be there. It was a perfect night filled with so much love and laughter. The two become one on June 27, 2009. God is good. In the midst of everyone getting engaged, I've been searching for an apartment and job, celebrating birthdays of dear friends and family, working hard at the hospital, meeting new friends, and doing my best to stay in touch with my old friends. With Chris working full time at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse as well as going to school and being in a time of transition myself, it has been difficult. However, Chris and I have been able to spend time with our friends we love the most here and there. Just not as much as we would like. We did get to be with Matt and Courtney for dinner and a concert. It was so good to be with them even just for a night. I lived with Court for four years, so she and Matt are family. We ate at Mi Cocina and saw Michael Buble at the Fort Worth Convention Center. It was great fun! I love his music. He is a very talented artist and performer. Ryan gave Regan a surprise birthday party at a great restaurant downtown and bought all of our dinners. We had a blast celebrating with Regan and catching up with the whole crew. A few friends were able to come in for Christopher's birthday, and we had lunch at Joe T. Garcia's! Chris was really surprised. He thought it was going to just be the two of us. After lunch, Chris and I celebrated his birthday by going to see the Impressionists exhibit from Chicago at the Kimbell Art Museum, watching some football, going to church, cake and ice cream with the Redwine family and Dr.Shirley, as well as seeing the movie "Fireproof." What a wonderful movie! There is so much trash these days that I love seeing clean movies with powerful messages. If you haven't seen it, you need too. What else? I have been doing some baby sitting for a couple of families. They are awesome. Their children are absolutely adorable in every way, and bless me so much. My parents have been down to visit a couple of times. In fact, they passed through on my Dad and sister's birthday. By the way, it has been way too long since I have seen my sister. I am missing her more than anyone! I will get to see her for Thanksgiving though! Thank goodness! The last time my parents were here, I made a decision on an apartment. I must have looked at 20+ apartments. Whew! I kept coming back to this particular one that I have chosen, and I am super excited about having a place of my own. It's so cute. Thank You Lord that You are my Home, but for providing a physical roof over my head. I know I am forgetting stuff. Oh! Yes! Chris got into practicum for counseling! Yay! We are so excited. This is a big deal, because not everyone gets in. We are so grateful to God for pouring out His grace on our lives. We are so undeserving. We recognize that every good and perfect gift is from Him. Another awesome thing God did was provide a place for me to work, and it is right across the street from where I am living! I was offered the job a couple of weeks ago and recently accepted. It seems like a great fit, and I start January 5th. My prayer is that I will continue to work with all of my heart for the Lord and not for men. Up until this point, I have been working for free finishing up my internship for my last semester of graduate school. My parents have so graciously and generously supported me through my schooling, and now the Lord has provided a way for me to support myself. There's so much to do in the coming days, especially with trying to move, graduating, holidays, and starting a new job. Wow! Maybe I should just stop here for now. I have so many pictures I could post, but it would take forever. For now, I will just post these two of Bryan and Chelsey on their engagement night and me and Chris on the balcony of my apartment I am living in now. I really needed to do this tonight. Even though I have a million other things I could and should be doing, it feels so good to sit down and write and share...Thank You Lord for the ability to do so!