Our Story...So Far!

Wow. Our story. Let's see...It all started in the summer of 2005 when I (Morgan) was supposed to be studying abroad in Europe. However, after putting a deposit down on the trip, I was no longer at peace about going. I remember calling my parents and letting them know what was going on in my heart. I had no idea why I felt so unsettled about this trip that I had been looking forward to all semester. I had worked at Kanakuk (a Christian sports camp) the summer before, and felt like God was calling me to go back. But part of the reason I was going to Europe was to get class credit, so I thought it might be good to take a few courses once I finished my term as a camp counselor. Little did I know, this would be where God would introduce me to my future husband. I walked in the first day of class, and I was decked out in my Baylor/Kappa hat, shirt, shorts, and flip-flops! I sat in the front of the classroom (as I normally do), and looked around. I'm not going to lie...I definitely noticed Chris McMullen. I don't remember exactly what he was wearing, but he was slumped down in his chair on the very back row. Not a good sign (I thought!)...Ha! He was wearing his Texas Tech hat cocked to the side (my Dad would not approve), and he just looked like trouble. Oh, but he was pretty cute trouble! Even though I noticed him, I pretended like I didn't. Since I was on the front row, and he was on the back row...we never spoke, but one day...I felt a tap on my shoulder. I was in the library, and turned around to find him getting my attention. (Okay, I was a little excited that he had initiated with me!)...I think we talked about camp and class. I remember walking away from that conversation intrigued, but didn't think much of it. I'm not sure that we talked again, but, before the end of our summer term, the whole class felt like we needed a study group. So, I offered my house. And who showed up...the one and only Chris McMullen. He was the last one to leave, but not for the reasons you might think! In the course of the night, he made several comments that made me wonder who he really was and what he was about. He was on his way out the door, and I asked an open-ended question. I don't remember the exact question I asked, but it was one that led to a lengthy conversation. This conversation confirmed I was not interested! Don't get me wrong. I walked away thinking he was a sweet guy with a great heart, and the Lord showed me I had gotten it all wrong. My first impression was... bad boy. (I guess from the way he wore his hat, because he was good looking, and the fact that he sat on the back row!) Shallow, I know. However, what I learned in the conversation proved to be true. Chris had a pure heart for God, but he was deeply wounded. He was hurting from things I didn't fully understand, but it was like God gave him to me to encourage. I'm telling you, after this conversation, I had no interest whatsoever! But I felt God impress upon my heart to write him letters. Chris was a student at Texas Tech, and I went to Baylor. I never thought I would see him again, but I knew he needed to be encouraged. So, as God put it on my heart, I just dropped a card in the mail. This is something God has consistently called me to do, so I didn't think it was weird. I did it for a lot of different people, but Chris soon began to think that I was interested in being more than just his friend. Once again, this was not the case! We had not been talking on the phone, but he started calling. I didn't mind an occasional phone call here and there, but it was turning into a weekly event. It made me uncomfortable, and I wanted to let him know that I was just interested in being his friend. That's it! After awhile, I wondered if he would ever get the point! He was persistent, and I was annoyed by it. Eventually, he understood and backed off. We didn't communicate at all for the rest of our junior year of college. I was caught up in my Baylor world, but the next time we talked...it was different.
So, Chris and I met the summer before our junior year of college. If you read the beginning portion of our story, you know that we had little to no contact the rest of the year. The next phone call I would get, from Chris, would be to tell me that his Mom had cancer. My heart hurt for him and his entire family. I promised to pray, and I started sending more encouragement cards. I went home that summer to help with the junior high girls ministry in our church. I remember Chris and I talking a few times over the summer, but I was so busy. All I really remember is wanting to know how his Mom and family were doing in this difficult season. I also recall having a few conversations, with my Mom, about what a sweet guy he was. I remember telling Mom about all of the qualities I saw in him and telling her I was attracted to him. However, I felt something was missing. I just wasn't sure what it was. The next thing I know...summer is over. I am headed back to Waco, Texas (my second home) and back to the school I love (Baylor University) for my senior year. Where did the time go? It was August, and I was just getting settled back into our amazing house with the most wonderful roommates. My typical routine at night was to hop up in my big bed, a good bit before I decided to actually go to bed, and spend time with God. I used this time to quiet to my heart, be still before the Lord, pray, and journal. Then...my phone starts ringing. I looked to see who it was, and it was Chris. Normally (if I'm being honest), I would just silence the phone call and return the call at a later time. However, something in me (for the first time) got really excited that he was calling. I thought to myself, "Why do I feel this way? That's weird. It's Chris..." Every other time he had called, it was no big deal. But I was finding myself a little giddy. I answered the phone, and the conversation went a little something like this...

Chris: "Hey. Uh...How are you?"
Morgan: "Good. It's good to hear from you. How are you?"
Chris: "Good..."
Morgan: "I don't know why, but I'm really glad you called. It's been awhile. How's your Mom?"
Chris: "She's better. Still taking chemo and radiation. Thanks for asking and praying. Thanks for your encouragement."
Morgan: "Well, I will keep praying. So, what are you up to? Can you believe this is our senior year?"
Chris: "Yeah...That's what I was calling about. Um...I have this formal..."
Morgan: (I'm thinking to myself. "We are in the first week of school, and he is calling about a formal...")
Morgan: "Yeah..."
Chris: "Well, I know I've asked you out and you've said, "no" on several occasions. And I know you just want to be friends, but I can't get you off my mind. I've talked about it with Todd (Chris' mentor), and after praying...I feel like I should just go for it."
Morgan: "Okay...go for what?"
Chris: "Well, I've always wanted to take someone really special to my fraternity formal. It's not until December..."
Morgan: "Aw, that's really sweet." (My heart is starting to melt a little bit, but I'm also thinking..."It's August!")
Chris: "You know my Dad asked my Mom out like ten times before she said, "yes." So, I figured I had at least that many times in me."
Morgan: (By this time, I was charmed. Something was different. I kind of felt excited and like I wanted to go, so I said..."That sounds great, and you're so sweet to think of me. I'm surprised you don't want to take someone from your own school. Let me me check my schedule, and I'll get back to you."
Chris: "Yeah, that's fine. Take your time. Morgan, I just want to pursue you."
Morgan: "Well, wait a minute...I don't know if I want you to pursue me. I'm not sure I like you like that, but I'm more open to the idea then I was before. I just want to get to know you better. I'm okay with going on dates as long as we are open, honest, and on the same page."
Chris: "Okay, that's fine. No need to worry. I'll be here in the end. Date whomever you need to date. I'm going to win. I'll look at my weekends, and see when I can come down to spend time with you."
Morgan: (I thought it was very confident (almost cocky), but something in me liked it...) So, I said, "Well, I will determine who wins, and we will just see! I'm looking forward to maybe spending some time together."
Chris: "I'm looking forward to spending time too. Well, goodnight Morgan. Sleep well."
Morgan: "You too. Night."

So, this was August. By December 14, 2006 (a few months later), we were in a dating relationship. If you can't tell, we are into the details. However, it is impossible to write down all that happened to bring us to the point of dating and especially what happened after dating! For those of you that journeyed with us, you know bits and pieces and more than the average person. But we will do our best to share as much as we can! Once I actually opened myself up to the idea of dating this Texas Tech boy and felt like God was saying, "Yes!", it didn't take long for me to fall in love with Chris McMullen. I remember walking the bear trail with a friend, and saying to her "I love him. I really do, and I can't believe I'm saying that." Six months in, and I was head over heels! Chris did such a wonderful job of pursuing me, serving me, and we had a great time together! Still dating long distance, our time was precious. Then, we hit a rough spot or two. There were hurts and wounds that began to surface, things from the past that we thought had been dealt with. Little did we know the lies that had been believed, and that the next several years God would take us through a process that would begin rooting them out of our lives forever. Chris and I dated (the first time) from December 2006 until January 2009. Although we loved one another deeply, the work God was doing in us was painful. We knew we were not ready for marriage (although we wanted to be), and felt God was leading us to end our relationship. We knew once we committed for a lifetime, there was no walking away. So, this was the time to figure it out. This was the time to get alone with God, let Him heal, and embrace our singleness. Of course, it wasn't a perfect process. There were nights I cried out to God, and felt like He had taken something away from me that He had promised me. I had bitterness and resentment in my heart towards Chris, and a lack of understanding of the true heart of God. Then the Lord spoke to me loud and clear, "Morgan, those who look to me lack no good thing. Those who fear me are always radiant. I am Your supply, and the Lifter of your head." I knew with all my heart and mind that God was good, but I couldn't wrap my head around why God would allow these trials in our lives. And what I learned was...I didn't have to. There was so much freedom in letting God be God, and leaving it in His hands. And it took me awhile to actually do that. I wanted to fix Chris. I wanted to fix us. In my mind (for awhile), this wasn't how it was supposed to be. I even moved forward when I knew I wasn't supposed to. When Chris finally asked me to get back together (months after we had broken up in 2009), I felt like it had been long enough and everything should be worked out by now. (Because God works on my time table! Ha!) So, I jumped right back in to find the exact same thing. We were miserable, and it wasn't our time. There were still things to be worked out. And this time we broke up, I thought it would never be worked out. I believed God would heal and restore, but it would be for the purpose of a new relationship. This time, we were really doing our own thing. We really went our separate ways. I finally realized that the Lord removing us from each other's lives was His protection and provision. It was Him being faithful to us once again. There were things that had to happen in both of our lives to bring us to the place we are today. And without getting into greater detail, for the sake of time, the Lord gave me a picture. I remember I was driving, and a song about the unfailing love of the Lord came on the radio. As I listened, the words resonated in my heart, "You make all things work together for my good. You stay the same through the ages. Your love never changes." Then came the picture. It was like credits rolling at the end of a movie. All of the sudden, I saw our story as a movie. God being the Author, Jesus the Producer, the Holy Spirit as Director, and us as the actors. The Lord allowed many different people to come in and out of our lives to play unique roles. Some for a specific reason, some for a season, and others for a lifetime. There have been twists and turns in the plot. We may not have always lived according to the Script or followed the commands of our Director. We may have had our own ideas of how we wanted to the story to be interpreted or to be played out, but God had one way and it was His perfect way...in His perfect timing. (The more I live, the more I know...His ways are higher!) Sometimes, we honestly thought we were doing the right thing, and we were obeying God. In fact, there were many times I felt like God had spoken very clearly. Of course, Scripture tells us that we only hear in part. So, all we can do is walk by faith. And through my dating life, the Lord certainly had me on a faith walk! (Many people have told me I should write a book!) Wow. Sometimes, I felt like He would lead me to a certain place...just to draw me back to Himself. I'm not saying that God was teasing me, but He was continuing to increase my desire for more of Him. And what all of us must realize is that everything is about Him. Life is not about getting married, finding the perfect job, or reaching this certain status. Life is about knowing and loving Him, so that we might reach others that do not know Him... for His glory. Our relationship has been a roller coaster, with many highs and lows! But through it all, He has remained faithful...for He cannot disown Himself. Chris and I are open books, and we love to share all that God has accomplished (thus far) in our lives. Because we have been comforted by Christ, we are confident that He is using us to comfort others. We are grateful to the Lord for the grace He poured out on us to make it and for the ability to walk in the abundant life that He died to give us. So, here we are! Seven years later, and we feel this is very significant. Seven years!!!! In Scripture, seven symbolizes completeness or perfection. How amazing is that? Now, we are not claiming to be perfect people or anywhere near the perfect couple! But here's what we can proclaim...Jesus is perfect, and He is faithful. He has made us complete and secure in Him for the purpose of moving forward into marriage and becoming one! After seven years of wandering and wondering, we know without a doubt...this is it! As much as we loved one another over the years, Chris and I both needed peace and confirmation in our hearts that this was God's best for our lives. Let me tell you...The Lord gave it to us in a crazy way, but we are beyond thankful. Chris had to hit rock bottom and truly let me go. I had to date someone else, and really know that no one...BUT CHRIST...could meet all of my needs. There were so many lessons learned and experiences had...that only left us loving Him and clamoring for more of His touch! Our happy ending is just the beginning, and we cannot wait!